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Christmas: or, Won't you bury my corpse tonight?

posted Dec 19, 2010, 9:43 PM by Christopher Stryker   [ updated Dec 19, 2010, 10:05 PM ]

Our next story is from a series of holiday posts we’re going to do. The stories are all from the unpublished collaborative effort of myself and the very talented Nicholas Bennett.

For the first time on the net the stories from the long awaited…..
Christmas: or, Won't you bury my corpse tonight?

one christmas night, there was no light
when santa came a'calling
his grip was poor, his feet unsure
and so he wound up falling
the following day, the children say
it wasn't very pleasant
they looked around, but soon they found
there weren't any presents
for several years its been quite clear
that santa clause has left us
but no one knew the story true
of how he had bereft us
poor jacob sty discovered why
through circumstances daunting
he awoke one night in such a fright
the victim of a haunting

the ghost would cry, to jacob sty
"oh, oh I'm not so chipper
I'll break your toys and make foul noise
melt chocolate in your slippers
I miss my wife I miss my elves
my workshop in the ice caps
my countless lists on countless shelves
my special room for gift wraps
this is no jest I cannot rest
I need my body covered
if left to rot, I'll haunt this spot
as long as I'm above earth"

now jacob said, with a clear head
because he was not fearful
"I've heard you yell for quite a spell
you've given me an earful
I know it's rough, you've had enough
this fate that you've been scorning
I'll bury you, I tell you true
the first thing in the morning"
the ghost then cheered and disappeared
and jacob got to sleeping
when morning came, his mind had changed
his word he'd not be keeping

the ghost emerged, that woeful scourge
to find that Jake was leaving
he felt betrayed, he had been played
and so he started grieving
"my soul is stuck, I'm out of luck
I'm trapped in this dilemma"
"we're heading out, you need not shout
I don't know what to tell ya"
and Jake's retort, though somewhat short
was clear and very smarting
the last thing Santa's ghost would hear
was Jacob's car a'starting.

A Word About Presents

though your birthday is only a few days away
your presents stay hidden until the big day
and if you're impatient and want to go look
you'd better be thankful you picked up this book
for if you go looking for presents well hid
you'll find a large creature who feeds upon kids
he lives in the closet and waits in the black
until your nice parents want those presents back
it's best not to wander too close to the door
for he's caught a great many and would gladly catch more
so children be patient and keep a cool head
just give up your search and return to your beds!